survivor | Divas In Defense®

In The State Of Florida – Marissa Alexander Had A Gun Permit, Stood Her Ground, Did Not Shoot Or Kill Anyone and Faces 20 Years In Prison

Dear Supporters:

On August 1 2010, my premature baby girl, born nine days earlier, was in the Baptist South N.I.C.U. fighting for her life and I would too be fighting for my life in my own home against an attack from my husband.

My name is Marissa Alexander, I am a mother of three children, but at the present time, I am not able to be with them due to the following circumstances. I am currently sitting in the Pretrial Detention Facility in Jacksonville FL, Duval County awaiting a sentence for three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon with no intent to harm. Before my life changed drastically on that August afternoon, I was in the perilous position of leaving an abusive relationship with my husband who has history of violence and documented domestic abuse towards women. Our history included one which required me to place an injunction for protection against violence and was active during the month of August 2010.

In an unprovoked jealous rage, my husband violently confronted me while using the restroom. He assaulted me, shoving, strangling and holding me against my will, preventing me from fleeing all while I begged for him to leave. After a minute or two of trying to escape, I was able to make it to the garage where my truck was parked, but in my haste to leave I realized my keys were missing. I tried to open the garage but there was a mechanical failure. I was unable to leave, trapped in the dark with no way out. For protection against further assault I retrieved my weapon; which is registered and I have a concealed weapon permit. Trapped, no phone, I entered back into my home to either leave through another exit or obtain my cell phone.

He and my two stepsons were supposed to be exiting the house thru the front door, but he didn’t leave. Instead he came into the kitchen that leads to the garage and realized I was unable to leave. Instead of leaving thru the front door where his vehicle was parked outside of the garage, he came into the kitchen by himself. I was terrified from the first encounter and feared he came to do as he had threatened. The weapon was in my right hand down by my side and he yelled, “Bitch I will kill you!”, and charged toward me. In fear and desperate attempt, I lifted my weapon up, turned away and discharged a single shot in the wall up in the ceiling. As I stood my ground it prevented him from doing what he threatened and he ran out of the home. Outside of the home, he contacted the police and falsely reported that I shot at him and his sons. The police arrived and I was taken into custody.

I was devastated and would continue to be for months following the incident. I had to appear in court all the way up until trial as I plead not guilty and know that I acted in self-defense. I believe my actions saved my life or prevented further harm, but preserved that of my husband who was completely irrational, extremely violent, and unpredictable that day.

Florida has a self-defense law and it includes the right to stand your ground. Below are the facts of my concern with the incorrect way the law was applied and ultimately the injustice in my case.

The alleged victim, my husband, under sworn statement in November 2010, admitted he was the aggressor, threatened my life and was so enraged he didn’t know what he would do.
The alleged victim, my husband, was arrested for domestic violence two times, once for abuse against me. The attack against me was so violent; I ended up in the hospital.
Prior to my arrest, I told the office I was in fear for my life due to the prior violence against me. I also told the officer there was a domestic injunction in place to protect me against abuse from the alleged victim. This information was written in detail by the officer in my arrest report, but ignored for some unknown reason.
In July of 2011, a hearing was held, where I along with the alleged victims testified as it relates to the stand your ground law and its immunity from prosecution.
After the hearing, Judge Elizabeth Senterfitt denied my motion, citing that I could have exited the house thru the master bedroom window, front door, and/or sliding glass back door. The law specifically states: No duty to retreat.
My attorney entered a standing objection on the record to the ruling and we proceeded to trial.
During that time, Angela Corey, our State Attorney met with the alleged victims. I also along with my attorney met with Angela Corey, John Guy, and then prosecutor Christen Luikart. I justified my actions to them and the truth as I have told it has remained the same.
Knowing our prior domestic abuse history, Angela Corey was hard pressed for the minimum mandatory, which provisions allow for prosecution to wave those stipulations. I was not guilty, nor did I believe that was fair and just under the circumstances. She also allowed for those same provisions in the State vs. Vonda Parker, same charges different circumstances which did not include self-defense.
Florida uses a law commonly known as 10-20-life as a sentencing guideline when a felony takes place with the use of a weapon. Under this statute, my felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to harm carries a twenty year mandatory sentence.
Stand your ground law has been applied in multiple recent incidents, the following is just a couple of incidents. Carl Kroppman Jr was allowed to use this law to avoid being arrested/charged during a road rage incident on the Buckman Bridge in Jacksonville, FL in August of 2011. Marqualle Woolbright of Ocala, FL avoided murder charges due to the stand your ground law when he shoot and killed someone.

I am a law abiding citizen and I take great pride in my liberty, rights, and privileges as one. I have vehemently proclaimed my innocence and my actions that day. The enigma I face since that fateful day I was charged through trial, does the law cover and apply to me too?

A step further and more importantly is in light of recent news, is justice for all include everyone, regardless of gender, race or aristocratic dichotomies. I simply want my story heard, reviewed and the egregious way in which my case was handled from start to finish serve as an eye opener for all and especially those responsible for upholding judicial affairs.

The threat that day was very real, imminent, and the battery on me occurred minutes before the decision I made to protect myself. That decision was a last resort, necessary and a reaction to the continued threat on my life. I am a believer that grace allowed for my response to be carried out in a non-lethal manner. This prevented the imminent threat and harm a non-fatal tactic, but not against an unknown attacker, rather my very own husband. That was by far the most difficult position to be in nine days after giving birth to a six week premature infant. My heart goes out for my two stepsons and always has had a hurt and sincere empathy for them being subjected innocently to that trauma.

The law states that I was justified in standing my ground and meeting force with force up to including deadly force, but political views and concerns states otherwise in the 4th circuit court.

So my last questions and valid concerns are what was I supposed to do that day and the stand your ground law who is it for?

Sincerely,
Lincoln B. Alexander Jr on behalf of Marissa Alexander

View original article here.

Enough of fear! L&D nurse gives back, empowering women to be safe and fear-free. (open access)

As a young child, I spent a lot of time homeless or living in the seedy parts of town. Many nights were spent in fear. One night, I awoke to the sounds of a man banging on the door, yelling obscenities and threatening to kill us all. I was about 10 years old, and we were living in a very poor part of town. We had no phone and no way out, except for the door the inebriated man was banging on. My mother handed me a hammer and told me that, if the man got through the door, I was to use it to break the bedroom window, grab my sister and jump. Our one-bedroom apartment was on the second floor.

I will never forget the fear in my mother’s eyes as she held our only source of protection—a kitchen knife. Thank goodness, the door was strong and, once daylight broke, the intruder left.

Memory of the fear and struggles my mother encountered in her daily life inspired me to become a nurse. I knew I could make a real difference to people in need and give back to my community in so many different ways. As a nurse, I would be able to provide compassionate care in a medical setting.

Women’s health has always been my passion, and that is why I chose to be a labor and delivery nurse. In my maternal-child nursing role, I became even more aware of the many women who find themselves in violent or abusive situations, who feel not only helpless, but also unworthy of a safe and fear-free life.

During a visit with my sister, she signed us up for a class offered by Divas in Defense, a program that builds self-esteem in women and provides them with the physical and mental tools they need to ensure their environment is safe. The class taught me to be more attentive to my surroundings and, after completing it, I felt more empowered to move safely through my world. I decided I wanted to share what I had experienced with others and, if possible, to have the program included among the many opportunities offered for women at Central Baptist Hospital.

To accomplish that goal, I knew I had to be proactive and get my nursing peers on board to support me in presenting my idea to Karen Hill, chief operating officer and nurse executive at Central Baptist. In the process, I learned to be persistent and extend myself beyond my comfort zone.

Starting a program from scratch isn’t easy and can be intimidating when you need institutional buy-in. I had a clear purpose, however, and was passionate about the subject, which was a good place to start. I knew I wanted to make the project a team effort, so I spent time compiling a vision statement and made a poster detailing my plans for peers to review and critique.

To test my idea, I made a series of small presentations on my unit and offered people the opportunity to sign a petition requesting that Central Baptist Hospital sponsor the first community Divas in Defense program in our state. Because a staff member in the surgical services department had been the victim of domestic violence, awareness within the hospital of the need for such a program was palpable. More than 100 people signed the petition, which I presented to Hill.

Having gained the confidence and support of my unit and co-workers, I needed to make sure the business side of my proposal was ready for presentation to the hospital’s administrators. Working through the business side of establishing the program at Central Baptist was challenging, and I learned a lot about business plans.

I also learned about the many questions that have to be answered and the things that need to be explored before finalizing a program proposal that requires resources. I came to realize that, although I had a great idea, I had to be willing to slow down my timeline to research the details and think about the “what if.” Hill helped by answering my questions, and she also made sure I asked all the right questions of the program sponsors in Atlanta. This pre-program preparation enabled me to do my best in presenting my idea, with Hill, to the hospital’s director of community education. As chief nursing officer, Hill gave me ongoing support and the opportunity to give a concise, detailed presentation outlining the resources that would be needed.

My hard work paid off, and the project was approved. The hospital sponsored Renee Phillips, RN, also a labor and delivery nurse, and me to attend certification training in Atlanta and to bring the program back to our employees and community. Prior to this, Divas in Defense had not expanded beyond Atlanta, Georgia, and we were thus among the first instructors certified outside the Atlanta area. Our community education department made space available and helped notify others about the offering. We also presented the process and outcomes at the hospital’s annual Evidence-Based Practice Symposium.

As a staff nurse and patient advocate, I am amazed to have accomplished something so dear to my heart. With the establishment of Divas in Defense at Central Baptist Hospital, I now have the opportunity to provide care both physically and emotionally to women. I feel so blessed to work as a nurse. I am able to touch lives, and my life is touched daily by the women I care for and by my co-workers. My mother is very proud of me, as I am of her. RNL

Kim McGinnis, BSD, RN, is a labor and delivery nurse at Central Baptist Hospital in Lexington, Kentucky, USA. Karen S. Hill, DNP, RN, NEA-BC, FACHE, is chief operating officer and nurse executive at Central Baptist. She also serves as editor-in-chief of JONA, the Journal of Nursing Administration.

Post courtesy of Reflections of Nursing Leadership. Original post found here.

Surviving The Scars

I had never considered myself a survivor but if I look back I have survived my whole life. I was molested by my step dad from the time I was 7yrs old till I told someone when I was 11, it was such a different time back then, I never received counseling and never spoke to anyone about it not even my mom it was not talked about in our house ever. I grew up very distrustful of men, till this day I tend to feel like I’m going to freak out if someone I don’t know simply touches my arm but I deal with it. When I was young I became a bit rebellious and my mom let my biological father come around and they would both say things like, that I was a liar and what I had said probably never happened because I was nothing but a piece of scum.

My teenage years were some of the loneliest years of my life. I turned to drugs to numb me of all of it, my drug was meth. My mom made it clear I was not welcome in her home I was 14yrs old so I was on the street. I would sleep where ever I could find a place, sometimes in an abandoned apartment or under some stairs at building to keep from getting wet from the rain. As I walked the streets I would see girls my age going to prom, going to school and I so wanted that for myself, I wanted to be normal I had felt abnormal and out of place almost my whole life, by then I was 16yrs old, I had been on the street for 2yrs. I had a friend who was much older than me and she took me home and helped me get clean which to me was amazing because she was a using as well.

The detox was horrendous I felt I was going to die! But I didn’t and I was determined to have a normal life it’s all I wanted. I went home and enrolled myself back in school and started taking ROP, I started beauty school. I had absolutely no support my moms boyfriend didn’t like my brother and I and let us know every chance he got but I didn’t care. I would an hour to school everyday as they both drove past me.

It was during this time a friend asked if she could fix me up. After a few months of fighting her off I finally agreed and went on a date w him. He was so nice and very different from anyone I had ever dated but then again I hadn’t dated much. Life at home was the same…awful and one day I had a huge fight w my mom and I moved out. I went to a friends house and my new beau came to see me. He said I could stay w him if I wanted to. I was flattered and very happy, I had never had anyone actually want me around so I went. I was very happy I was finally given a chance at a normal life so I did normal things, I cooked and cleaned, did laundry. Being 17 I didn’t see there was nothing normal about a man who didn’t want me to work or go to school. Soon his temper was starting to show, it was a bad temper and the first time he struck me I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have anyone to call or anywhere to go but he apologized and to me that was big, no one had ever apologized for hurting me ever, to me it showed he loved me and I believed him when he said he would never do it again. It went on for many years even through my pregnancy w my son who is now 15yrs old.

At the time he was 1yr old when I had enough and decided to leave, it would be 1 of many times…he would threaten to kill himself sometimes and other times he would get in 1 last beating and would hunt me down and stalk me after to get me to come back, as stupid as it sounds I would go back. I know now it was because I saw his actions after as a sign of his love for me, something I had been searching for my whole life if only I could just fix his problem?. I finally realized I couldn’t fix him if he didn’t want to be fixed and I didn’t want to be beaten in front of my child because he would grow up thinking this was ok, that it was normal. I knew it wasn’t normal and all that normality I had searched for my whole life was up to me to attain, not for myself but for my child, I didn’t care if I had normality for myself but I didn’t want my child to miss out, my choices determined his future. I had survived being molested and I survived drug addiction and now I had to choose to survive domestic violence and I did.

I am married w 2 kids, my husband is a wonderful man and my kids have the normal life I so longed for as a young girl, I may not of been able to attain that for myself at that age but I have a normal life now as a grown woman. It’s never to late to move on from where you are to where your supposed to be and no one is supposed to be in a horrible place of hurt and pain. You are valuable to someone whether it’s your children, your parents, your brothers or sisters, those are the people who love you the way you should love yourself and if you have no one there people like myself who are willing to share our story in the hopes you will pick yourself up and keep from being a forgotten statistic 😉

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Categorized as: survivor