Let’s admit it Mom and Dad, we barely know what our teens are doing. We attempt to do our best at raising them to avoid the same bad choices and negative experiences we faced growing up, but they have their own path to follow. On top of it all, they are our offspring; the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree after all.
Regardless of how much we create a safety bubble for our children, society finds a way to affect them… usually through entertainment.
Well, February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month! Even though we ingrain situational awareness, boundary setting, confidence building and the power of NO! to our teens; they can still be abused. I will say this, the numbers produced by the United States Department of Justice (USDOJ) states 1 in 4.5 teens in a relationship will experience some form of abuse. Abuse comes in many facets, not just physical!
Does your teen avoid past friendships because of a new relationship? Have they changed their wardrobe style to something completely different than ever before since entering a relationship? When it comes to self-esteem, is your teen feeling unattractive for the first time ever?
Also, January was Human Trafficking Awareness Month; so let’s not ignore the possibility of lack of situational awareness be a reason to lose our child to this $80 Billion industry.
Talk to your teen, have open dialogue and try your best to be nonjudgmental. You may be surprised what they are facing. Don’t let an attempt at self-harm or suicide be your wake-up call to be attentive to your teen. Pay attention to the warning signs and remember, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOUR CHILD!
Have you been a victim of violence of any of the following?
Rape, Molestation
Did you know your assailant?
Yes
If so, how long before the experience?
11+ years
Did you report the experience?
Yes
Was the individual(s) convicted and sentenced?
No
Please share the details of your experience as you feel comfortable:
When I was a child, I endured the repeated molestation of my babysitter, the teenage girl next door. Years later, at 13, my father raped me and ended up going missing. A week later, he was found dead. He’s hung himself from a tree in Oklahoma where he was living at the time.
For years after, I was in and out of depression. I spent years jumping from relationship to relationship, my family dynamic was crumbling, and I was searching for purpose. Once I began expressing myself; voicing my pain and my struggles; and looking to God for guidance, my healing began. Now I am 27, full of joy and courage living my life with the strength to fully enjoy it.
This is only a snippet of my story, because what words can really express the blur we experience as survivors of such traumas? This is however MY story and I will make in known always, this trauma was never the end of me; I am alive, well and walking through each day encouraged.
How has this experience impacted you and your relationship(s) with family, friends, co-workers, etc.?
Family life was difficult in the beginning. As each person was working through the pain, now we had to come together in hopes to rebuild relationships. My friends became my family as they covered me in love and encouraged me to have hope.
Were you initially hesitant to come forward in sharing with us?
No
If so, what made you reconsider?
N/A
If you could return to a time before the experience, what advice would you tell yourself and/or your parents?
I would tell myself to take a deep breath and pray. I would tell my mother although she may not have all of the answers, just remain present. I would tell my father I loved him for the last time.
What one piece of advice for women who have experienced violence or assault?
Have you been a victim of violence of any of the following?
Domestic Violence, Rape, Molestation, Sexual Assault, Assault & Battery, Sexual Harassment, Other
Did you know your assailant?
Yes
If so, how long before the experience?
11+ years
Did you report the experience?
Yes
Was the individual(s) convicted and sentenced?
No
Please share the details of your experience as you feel comfortable:
I’m the oldest in my family. I am the only child to both my mother and father. I grew up not knowing my birth father and was raised by my stepfather. I grew up witnessing Domestic Violence, Alcohol Abuse, etc in our home. I was extremely abused physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally and sexually.
My first time being molested I was about 7 or 8. The teenage neighbors would babysit. They would have me put my siblings down for a nap while I was allowed to hang out with them and their boyfriends/girlfriends. One morning while everyone was still sleeping, one of the baby sitters came over and took me down to our basement. He said he lost something down there. While I was helping him look he laid me down, climbed on top of me and began touching me through my panties. I’d seen him make out with his girlfriend and knew it wasn’t right to be doing it to me. Right about the time he pulled out his penis one of my parents called downstairs looking for me and he got scared and went home.
Later that afternoon while sitting on the porch, I was asked me if he touched me. I turned red and started crying. I was then asked if he put anything inside of me and I just looked horrified and was crying hysterically. It was then said to me, “well I guess I have to take you to the doctor to see if he popped your cherry because I’m not having any grandchildren”. I had no idea what they were talking about and I was never taken to the doctor or asked anything about it again. His sister start babysitting instead.
The second time I was molested I was 12. A family friend was living with us and my parents were out of town for a family emergency. While laying in my parents’ bed watching a scary movie I fell asleep. I was wearing a one-piece romper and woke to Him grabbing my breasts, pressing his penis up against me while trying to get my romper off. I threatened to call the neighbor and have her call my parents. I later found him trying to molest others in the family and threatened to tell on him.
When I was 16, I ran away from home for the hundredth or so time. I was sitting on a swing watching boys play basketball when I was approached by a girl coming home from school. She brought me home with her and fed me and let me shower. She introduced me to the boys which included her cousin and brother. Not only did I know where they lived, but I also knew where they worked and they would look out for me and protect me.
One night after they got off work, they came to check on me. While there, another man showed up who I thought was Satan. He was drunk and quite possibly high on something. He pressured the boys into drinking and every bit of my instincts told me to get out. There was only one door and he wouldn’t let me near it. I was staying in a 2 room concrete building and the second door was chained.
When I tried going to the door, he stood in front of me and blocked me. I’m not sure how it started, but he was telling the other guys no one was going anywhere until we had sex. They were drunk by this time also. As I tried to leave, he got more threatening and the three of them beat and raped me. I was a tiny girl but I was extremely tough and I fought like hell. I was thrown against the wall and held by my hands and feet while they pulled my pants down and climbed on top of me. One of the boys, when it was his turn, told me during penetration that he didn’t want to hurt me and that he really liked me. I begged him to stop and make the others stop and he said he was afraid the other man would come back if he didn’t. The man that started it all did nothing but hold me down and watch them rape me and once they were finished he left. The two boys I knew passed out cold on the concrete floor and woke up to me sitting on a bench in shock hysterically crying. I wrote a 5 page letter explaining what happened after being punished and accused of having sex. I was sent to a Psychiatrist without another word about it.
I left home at 17 and became a nanny for one of my friend’s neighbors. She was an alcoholic and drug addict. She used to have parties and orgies and would make me “Date” whichever of the men were interested in me at the time. I remember one man being twice my age and he would make me have sex even while I was bleeding. I bled so bad once during sex I thought he killed me. A couple of days later I had a miscarriage.
I left when I was 18, met a guy and married him out of pressure. I didn’t know at the time, I had Endometriosis and sex was the most painful thing I ever experienced. My husband didn’t care. I was told it was my wifely duty and I didn’t know any better, so I would lay there and cry. There were times I would be paralyzed and couldn’t move or speak due to all the trauma I experienced by then. I even tried committing suicide, but he found me and called an ambulance. I divorced him 2 years later.
Around 1995 or 96 I met a guy who lived around the corner from me. We started hanging out and I was renting a room in a house with other people. We were sitting outside talking and he went in my room to cool down or take a nap. I was fixing lunch and he called me into the room and told me I had to have sex with him.
I told him to go home and he jumped up and starting punching me and beating me. I got to the door and screamed for help. He then locked the door and started beating my head, body, and face with his shoe. I had been beaten my whole life along with witnessing violence in my home, so I never thought I would ever allow a man to put his hands on me like that. One thing I learned quickly… no one was going to help me.
I moved 9 times in one year and had him arrested I don’t know how many times. The people closest to me always told him where to find me. This went on for a year and a half. Once he beat me so bad with a wire hanger I looked like the Elephant Man. Again no one would protect me. I worked 2 jobs so I wouldn’t have to go home. I would get beat in the middle of the street if he wanted money or thought I was looking at someone or talking to them.
A few months after I left him, I ran into an ex I had dated a few years before. I had no clue at that time he was HIV Positive and none of the people that knew told me. Everything was great in the beginning and one day he snapped while we were in the car. Accusing me of flirting with his stepdad and threatening to kill us both while driving like a maniac before he put a gun to my head. I was held hostage in my car and my home.
He would take my car, stay out all night, come home in the morning to make me have sex with him and drop me off at work. Once we pulled into the parking lot of my job and as I went to get out he punched my head so hard it hit the window and took me home, raped me and dropped me back off at work. Again, no one would help me. This abuse went on for a year before my company moved me to another state. All of this happened to me by the time I was 30.
How has this experience impacted you and your relationship(s) with family, friends, co-workers, etc.?
I don’t know how to have a real relationship with anyone. I don’t allow people to get too close or personal. I keep everyone at arm’s length and have no problem walking away without a word. I’ve spent my life running and burying my pain because I was always told I wasn’t allowed to show emotion or feel anything. I lived my entire life feeling like I was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy of love. This is what I was told by those that were there to protect me and whom I trusted.
I don’t allow myself to truly love and don’t have a clue as to what healthy love is. It’s made me put everyone’s needs before mine and I’ve spent my life in relationships with men I could control relatively. I was taught from a very young age that sex is all men want and all I have to give them. I suffer from PTSD and Complex Trauma.
Were you initially hesitant to come forward in sharing with us?
Yes
If so, what made you reconsider?
I want to do everything in my power to help others and let them know it’s not their fault.
If you could return to a time before the experience, what advice would you tell yourself and/or your parents?
I would tell my father to leave me in the orphanage and let me be adopted by the Doctor and his wife who wanted me.
What one piece of advice for women who have experienced violence or assault?
There is NOTHING you did or said to deserve ANYTHING that’s been done to you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There is help and you are worth more than DIAMONDS AND GOLD!! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THE LIES YOU WERE TOLD AND BELIEVE!!
Due to the sensitivity of the aforementioned, some names and recounts may have been amended to accommodate our vast audience. We respect each author’s strength and courage for being vulnerable, but caring enough to share and we are diligent in not altering the content of the message.
Have you been a victim of violence of any of the following?
Rape, Molestation
Did you know your assailant?
Yes
If so, how long before the experience?
2 – 5 years
Did you report the experience?
No
Was the individual(s) convicted and sentenced?
No
Please share the details of your experience as you feel comfortable:
Raising a child as a single mother, the assistance of the community is recommended to lighten the load of parenting. For me, it was no different. By this time, I had been a professional latchkey kid for years. The difference was my mother was married at the time and my step father came home at 4:15 EVERY DAY!
Within a year of their divorce, it was quickly realized my mother coming home at 5:30-ish left too much time for me to be mischievous. This is when our next door neighbors offered their assistance. Our next door neighbors had a daughter named Nicky, who took a liking to me as many teen girls do little kids. She would buy me candy from the “candy man” (if you didn’t have a community candy store, you DID NOT live in the Hood), she would watch cartoons with me, she would compliment my drawings and so much more. Why not let Nicky watch me?
I remember the first time sitting in her room, there was this picture of Prince on the wall with this feather-style hairdo. He was naked, but covering up his “manly” parts. I can honestly say, this is what I remember the most. His eyes were so judgmental and it freaked me out. Nicky would bake me chocolate chip cookies, which is still my favorite dessert, and serve them to me hot with some cold milk. My mouth is salivating thinking about some cookies now.
Everyday when she got home from school, which was like 3:30, she would knock on the door to get me after she got off the bus. Her bus stop was in front of the house, so I eagerly anticipated her bus arriving everyday. This went on for some weeks.
The first thing I recall, which would definitely be deemed inappropriate for one of my children, was Nicky asking me have I ever kissed a girl. I remember being disgusted by the girls in school drowning me with kisses during ‘Catch A Boy, Kiss A Boy’ where a group of girls would go after me, Calvin Mays and Willie Wheeler. Of course, this didn’t leave an interest for me; but I wanted didn’t want to seem like a “baby” so I hid my disgust and replied, “No.”
At this moment, Nicky instructed me to close my eyes and pucker up. I did as asked without hesitation. Nicky wasn’t cute to me then, but she was so nice to me I practically would have done anything not to disappoint her. I remember her kissing me and I went straight back to eating my cookies. She asked what I thought about it, with a full mouth I shook my head to signal my approval.
It was at this moment when Nicky told me it was our little secret, which was easy because I didn’t want her to blow the lid on all these cookies I ate before dinner. This was the beginning. Over the next couple of days, the kissing became our greeting and the cookies kept on coming. Fast forward about a week or two…
I came to the house and entered Nicky’s room, freaked out by the picture of Prince; Nicky told me she found something she wanted me to see. It was a VHS tape! I was in awe, we didn’t have a VCR in our house so I was curious to see what it did. I patiently waited for Nicky to connect the VCR to her TV, all the while eating my cookies. Once connected, I remember her turning around and looking at me. She said, “You are not supposed to see this, if you tell anyone we can go to jail.” JAIL? I thought, but this was Nicky so I knew she had my best interest in mind.
Growing up around women, I remember seeing breasts and booty. Being I was 9, my mother and aunts just started being discreet with their bodies by attempting to shield themselves. Therefore when the movie started, I wasn’t taken aback by the fact the woman was topless. They were just breasts! This is when a man walked into the frame.
I sat there eating my cookies and drinking my milk, now puzzled by this movie. The man and the woman kissed. This is when Nicky took my plate and my glass of milk, placing it on her bed side, night stand. She asked me to do what the man on the video did. Okay, I remember thinking. If this is what you want and you give me back my cookies… sure thing.
It started with tongue kissing, I thought it was weird because I hadn’t brushed my teeth since the morning; but it is what Nicky wanted. Then she took off her shirt exposing her breasts. The man in the video started licking her breasts, so I mimicked him trying to please her to get back to my cookies. She moaned and groaned like the lady in the video, so I felt like an actor. I repeated some of the stuff he said and we continued.
Within a few minutes, the lady unbuttoned the man’s pants and took him into her mouth. Nicky did the same. I recall looking disgusted like… Pee-Pee comes out this thing. But, I didn’t want to upset her so I complied. I don’t remember enjoying it, but I know it did give me some arousal. How? Because the next scene he entered her with his penis.
All I could think about was, how long is this? I think my cookies are cold and my milk is warm. Yet, we continued. I don’t remember how long it lasted, but I would assume a few minutes. She made me vow to not say a word or I may never see her again, let alone never get anymore pre-dinner cookies. My lips remained sealed.
This went on over a few months, during this time we had seen and recreated at least 15 different movies. Everything from oral to vaginal penetration. It became something I knew I had to do to get my cookies (no pun intended). I can honestly admit, this may have continued for years if she didn’t move. By now, my mother was pregnant with my younger brother so I chalked the experience up as mutual curiosity.
I never really looked at myself as being molested, although my wife, past girlfriends and friends have always said I was. It was the #SurvivingRKelly docu-series which has forced me to come to the realization that I too am a Survivor.
Although, I wouldn’t recognize Nicky if she walked up to me today. I will always remember how Prince looked at me in judgment every time I had “cookies” with my darling, Nicky!
How has this experience impacted you and your relationship(s) with family, friends, co-workers, etc.?
To be honest, I think it made me have an insatiable appetite for sex. In middle school, boys would grab girls butts and things. I remember thinking, what is the purpose? It may have had an impact on the way I love also. I love hard and fast.
Were you initially hesitant to come forward in sharing with us?
Yes
If so, what made you reconsider?
I own a self-defense company called Divas In Defense. I deal with a lot of violence against women, so I kind of dismissed my experience as curiosity. The hype around the docu-series, Surviving R. Kelly, reminded me of how innocent I was as well as willing to sell out myself for cookies. I went to a cigar bar with a couple of friends who described their abuse as well. This is when I realized, wait… I was molested! On January 13, 2019, I posted on Facebook a simple post about being molested by my babysitter and realized it is a dilemma. If it happened to us, so many men in my immediate circle… #WhoElse
If you could return to a time before the experience, what advice would you tell yourself and/or your parents?
First of all, I would tell myself I am worth more than hot cookies and cold milk. I would advise my mother to pay attention to my body language and things of that nature. I remember once I was masturbating with spit from my mouth. My mother walked in like, why does it smell like spit in here? Ashamed, I shrugged my shoulders and let her finish yelling before she stormed out. I wish she inquired a little more.
What one piece of advice for women who have experienced violence or assault?
When I originally came up with the questions for this, I was being gender specific about women who experienced abuse. I teach women self-defense, why focus on men I thought. I was wrong!
The one piece of advice I would have for ANYONE who experienced violence or assault is… If you feel the need to hide or be bribed to keep something secretive, it should probably be brought to light.
Due to the sensitivity of the aforementioned, some names and recounts may have been amended to accommodate our vast audience. We respect each author’s strength and courage for being vulnerable, but caring enough to share and we are diligent in not altering the content of the message.
Our daily lives are full of choices. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad; they are all of our choices. Therefore, I propose the time for you to Choose Happy!
Of course, this sounds much easier than it is. The understanding of the woes of life weighing heavy on our minds, make the idea of happiness seem impossible. One thing I can guarantee, there are billions who are equally or worse off than you.
In Rhonda Byrne’s, The Secret, she writes “Be grateful for what you have now. As you begin to think about all the things in your life you are grateful for, you will be amazed at the never-ending thoughts that come back to you of more things to be grateful for. You have to make a start, and then the law of attraction will receive those grateful thoughts and give you more just like them.”
Can you imagine if we could find peace and happiness with what we have than what we want? I challenge you, take a week and reflect on personal happiness. Say hello to the friend you stop talking to because of petty indifference. Volunteer some time to those less fortunate. Do a kind deed daily for a stranger.
There is a movie called “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey; outside of hilarious, it gives a positive outlook on energy. The storyline is grounded in a guy who decided to say “yes” to everything for a year. In the year, he had a lifetime of adventures and challenges; but his outlook on life was changed forever.
Once again, take the time to be grateful for what you have and smile at the positives. You may have millions of choices in a lifetime, but you have only one life! Make your choices count, Choose Happy!
As the leaves fall and the weather gets cool one of the most festive, crazy and creative holidays is quickly approaching. It is loved by the young and old, the at home- costume doers along with the over the top house decorators. If it isn’t for the bags full of candy or the mystery of “who is behind the mask” you cannot help but enjoy some part of Halloween.
This post will be packed of little Tricks and Treats to keep you and you family safe next weekend. With every one running around getting that last eye ball to glue on or finding the ‘just right shade of white face paint’ we at Divas In Defense do not want you to forget that safety is key to a successful evening.
Before you or a group of your Lil’ Ladybug or Fireman friends head out; make sure you have completed your check list:
Have route already planned out.
Make sure designated watchers are assigned.
Costumes are properly fitted with reflector tape or some type of light that can be seen by drivers and walkers.
You can even make your own waterproof informational tattoo. All you need is a sharpie and clear nail polish!
Costumes – Beware! Of people in mask or face covering costumes. They are not only cool to scare but they are an easy way to disguise a person real intention.
Candy – Check your kid’s candy and ‘When in doubt, Throw it out!!! For adults this rule applies as well, check those party favors and punch bowls.
Pets- You will want to keep your cats indoors especially the unofficial mascot of Halloween the Black Cat. Some may take this opportunity to really bring harm to your for legged friend.
Fierce & Fabulous Divas 21+ – With so many goblins and ghouls roaming the streets on All Hallows’ Eve, things can get a little scary. Here are some Uber tips so you have a safe night with treats and no tricks.
Make sure driver ID, type of car and plate matches.
Pre dial 911 – so you can hit send ASAP
Call someone beforehand, while in the car and once you have reached your destination.
Place a business care or matchbook in your purse to ensure you return to your correct hotel.
Halloween can be a fun time of year for both children and adults alike. Whether you plan to get decked out in an elaborate costume and attend a haunted bash, take the kids trick-or-treating, or stay home and hand out goodies to all the ghosts and goblins who appear on your doorstep, the usage of these little tricks and treats will ensure everyone has a safe and fun Halloween.
As much as parents are COMPLETELY ecstatic of children returning to school, safety is a primary concern. Recently in Vinings, Georgia, a smart middle school girl thwarted an attempted abduction. The story reported by @11alive as follows:
11 Alive (http://www.11alive.com) reported “A Campbell Middle School girl was walking home Tuesday afternoon when she said a black SUV approached her. The white male driver allegedly tried to lure her into his vehicle.
“She became suspicious when he wasn’t able to answer her questions. Instead, she ran to a nearby home for help.”
Her quick, intuitive thinking helped her return home safely. In this case, her life was at stake!
Did you know:
In December 2013, the FBI expressed they had more than 7,000 pending investigations involving child exploitation, including sex trafficking of minors and child pornography.
According to FBI statistics, Atlanta ranks among the top 14 cities in the United States for domestic minor sex trafficking. And some 300 girls across Atlanta are lured into trafficking every month.
Facts show this was a possibility of Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking (DMST), especially here in the Atlanta area. I’ve had training from StreetGrace (www.streetgrace.org) whom I HIGHLY recommend for their diverse knowledge on the topic.
Learn more about Divas In Defense programs here. In addition, read about our On Her Own: Teen Self-Defense Workshop which covers preventive and informative material on bullying, social media net-iquette, cyber safety, identity theft, domestic minor sex trafficking (DMST), dating violence, sexual assault and harassment.
Here are a few tips to share with your children to be safe:
Bus riders are the safest children.
Develop a “safe” word for your children, as well as a “not safe” word.
Establish a “check-in” system for latch-key children.
Encourage your children to travel in groups.
Teach your children the importance of not texting while walking.
Practice awareness techniques with your children daily.
Register your children for self-defense classes.
Here is the National Human Trafficking Hotline Number: (888) 373-7888.
Lately, it seems like every time I turn on any news station, there is another college fraternity being suspended for allegations of some type of sexual assault. Recently the University of Virginia has suspended all fraternities and parties associated with the fraternities following a Rolling Stone Magazine article that describes one student’s account of being gang raped and her annoyance with her school to hold her attackers responsible. President Teresa A. Sullivan wrote in a statement to the university community. “Rape is an abhorrent crime that has no place in the world, let alone on the campuses and grounds of our nation’s colleges and universities.
How can we, the female society, willing fill out applications to our dream schools and most of the social clubs are on suspension or investigation for sexual assault. I wanted to know, what are college administrations and our governments doing to protect us on campus from sexual assaults?
Well here is the answer. The Obama Administration launched “It’s On Us” Public Awareness Campaign this year. This campaign has been formulated:
• To RECOGNIZE that non-consensual sex is sexual assault.
• To IDENTIFY situations in which sexual assault may occur.
• To INTERVENE in situations where consent has not or cannot be given.
• To CREATE an environment in which sexual assault is unacceptable and survivors are supported.
“It’s On Us” I believe is a pledge that all schools and colleges can implement to make a big difference on how the female student body.
When a victim can have the support of her school and that her allegations will not go unheard, that is already a strong unified campus that I would want to be apart of.
While on winter break sign your Young Diva for Divas In Defense “On Her Own” Workshop December 20th, 2014:
Before reading those stories, and posting, I accepted it as the norm to get harassed all the time.” (Hollaback participant, 2012) –
Now we all can admit that hearing “That I Notice You” whistle or look might actually brighten up your day, but what can you do if it progresses into an uncomfortable situation: whistle blowing, hisses and the stares. Many do not understand what is the ‘Big Deal”. Non-contact unwanted sexual experiences were the most common form of sexual violence experienced by both women and men.
Event though the assailant is not being physical public harassment is still pretty close to your Personal Safety Zone. The assailant might not even notice they are speaking the language of Sexual Terrorism. It could all be apart of their Social Anxiety Defense Mechanism stemming from low self-esteem.
Street Harassment on College Campuses
Recently the company behind the Hollaback! App collected 282 undergraduate, graduate and part-time college students and 44 college administrators on campuses from the urban, suburban and rural U.S. to find out how harassment exists in spaces of higher education.
• Students are being harassed on their college campuses (67% of students experienced harassment),
• Harassment is limiting student’s ability to benefit from education,
• Current campus systems and processes are insufficient.
• Over 99 percent of women report facing some form of street harassment.
• 95 percent of women report being the target of leering or excessive staring at least once.
• More than 37 percent of women have had a stranger masturbate at or in front of them at least once in public.
• Nearly 57 percent of women reported being touched or grabbed in a sexual way by a stranger in public.
• Over 77 percent of women said they were the targets of kissing noises from men.
• About 62 percent of women say a man has purposely blocked their path at least once.
• About 27 percent of women report being assaulted at least once in public by a stranger.
“But I found myself forcing myself to bring it up and to tell people about it and to, even like, people I wouldn’t normally tell this to, like my Dad… Hollaback cultured my feeling that this should be shared.”
The only way we can become a fighting voice for all of those who cannot.
Sources: http://www.ihollaback.org/
SOURCES: Stop Street Harassment, Feministe/Patrick McNeil, Center for American Progress
Well, this is what happened when you get Lady Gaga, R. Kelly and Terry Richardson to do an Advertisement for Rape “collaborative project” called, “Do What You Want With My Body.”
According to the reports, Gaga asked Kelly, “Will I ever be able to walk again?” and he replied, “Yes, if you let me do whatever I want with your body. I’m putting you under, and when you wake up, you’re going to be pregnant.” The video clip of the pulled music video posted by TMZ (see video clip here) depicts a young unconscious woman as a playground for sexual exploitation.
Unfortunately, date rape drugs such as rohypnol, GHB and Ketamine makes this video depiction a real-life situation for too many young ladies. As an Atlanta resident, I am embarrassed that we are ranked No. 1 for Sex Trafficking and at the bottom of the spectrum for high school dropouts.
Here are a few ways to protect yourself from being a victim:
– Keep your drinks with you at all times.
– Don’t accept drinks unless they’re delivered by bar staff.
– Pay attention to the way you feel.
– Use methods of detecting the presence of date rape drugs, like DrinkSavvy, a company which designed a cup to detect date rape drugs.
