Categorized as: love me pain free

Mother’s Day… Everyday!

The day after Mother’s Day is usually a solemn one. For the celebrated mothers, it is a reminder of being back to the toils of normalcy. For those whose mothers have transitioned, the challenge of returning to work or school to hear about the ‘wonderful times with Mom’ can be excruciating.

Mothers, you are worth a daily celebration for all you do to ensure our happiness and upbringing. At times, I am often apologetic for my lackadaisical approach to showing appreciation to the matriarch of our family structure. I am blessed to have a spouse who can assist me with such a daunting feat. I can only empathize with single parents; imagining the task of raising children to be embraced by today’s society while educating them to be passionate, righteous and safe.

So this day, the day after Mother’s Day, I want to say thank you to all of the mothers of the World. Even though you too may be challenged with personal faults, you are still appreciated!

I have a special place in my heart for mothers who have to illustrate a false sense of happiness while covering wounds of depression and abuse to protect their children. Can you imagine facing a child or children who sense your pain and vulnerabilities after witnessing your abuse? The strength of Mom is immeasurable beyond belief.

Take a moment out of your day to show a mom, even if not your Mom, some appreciation for all she does. Something as simple as a phone call, a smile or words of encouragement can show a mother the love she deserves.

America’s Dad… The Predator!

What a way to end Sexual Assault Awareness Month…

The man who cultivated a culture and entire generation of African-Americans to excel in education and family, was secretly a predator of women. Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable…The Voice of Fat Albert… Mr. Jell-O Pudding Pops…a Rapist! I remember being a teenager with no interest in college being raised by a single mother thinking, WOW! The Cosby Show gave me the possibility of a complete Black family unit with two successful parents. Soon to follow, A Different World, which set the fire for me to be one of the first in my family to go to college.

What is the world coming to? I can honestly tell you, the World has been here for quite some time:

  • Every 98 seconds, a woman is a victim of attack.
  • 600 women are sexually assaulted daily.
  • One in five women have been raped in their lifetime.
  • Nearly half of rape victims were assaulted by an acquaintance.

“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” – Polonius (Hamlet)

I am sick and tired of the excuses people use for their personal demons and shortcomings. Bill Cosby has been tried and convicted of assaulting three women. THREE WOMEN! This does not count those who feared coming forward, were paid to remain silent or did not get their chance in court. As much as I am happy for his many contributions to children, I am equally disappointed for his victimization of women.

These attacks are completely and utterly inexcusable! This was not an isolated occurrence. The #MeToo movement has proven there are many voices who remain unheard.

Dr. Cosby, for you to act like you are the victim here, I have only one thing to say about you…

“You’re like school on Saturday: NO CLASS!” – Rudy (Fat Albert & The Cosby Kids)

#LoveMePainFree #MeToo #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #Rape #SexualAssault

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Ah, February! As we eagerly anticipate the day of love, Valentine’s Day; let us not forget how many brokenhearted and abused girls there are in young relationships. This month, in addition to finding love, we encourage those to face new relationships with the ‘Love Me Pain Free’ mentality.

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month is a national effort to raise awareness about dating violence, promote programs that support young people, and encourage communities to prevent this form of abuse with the goal of decreasing the prevalence of dating violence among young people.

Here are a few facts about Teen Dating Violence:

  • 33% of adolescents in America are victim to sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional dating abuse.
  • Teens who suffer dating abuse are subject to long-term consequences like alcoholism, eating disorders, promiscuity, thoughts of suicide, and violent behavior.
  • In the U.S., 25% of high school girls have been abused physically or sexually. Teen girls who are abused this way are 6 times more likely to become pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
  • 50% of young people who experience rape or physical or sexual abuse will attempt to commit suicide.
  • Roughly 1.5 million high school boys and girls in the U.S. admit to being intentionally hit or physically harmed in the last year by someone they are romantically involved with.
  • 1 in 5 teens in a dating relationship report being hit, slapped, or pushed by their partner.

Divas In Defense provides teens with a college preparatory, self-defense workshop. The program is called On Her Own. The course includes the twelve elements of personal safety critical for this age group, including date rape drugs, jogging safety, safe parking lot strategies, social media net-iquette, on-campus violence, cyber stalkers and more. Young women enjoy and are empowered by our ten instinctive street fighting tools we teach.

Dating Violence Resources for Young People & Parents

Break the Cycle: Empowering Youth to End Domestic Violence
Striving to engage, educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free from domestic violence.

Dating Matters: Strategies to Promote Healthy Teen Relationships
The Centers for Disease Control’s Dating Matters Initiative promotes healthy teen relationships in economically disadvantaged urban communities. The initiative includes an online training for youth workers and teachers.

Love Is Respect: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
Providing resources for teens, parents, friends and family, Peer Advocates, government officials, law enforcement officials and the general public.

A Thin Line
Empowering youth to stop the spread of digital abuse.

Technology Safety Planning with Survivors
Help young survivors of teen dating violence make safer decisions online with safety planning tips sheets from the National Network to End Domestic Violence. Available in English, Spanish, Chinese, Korean Vietnamese, Somali and Russian.

(Resource information courtesy of Family & Youth Services Bureau)

Couplepreneurship: Successfully Working with Your Spouse

Mixing business and pleasure can be a dangerous combination. My spouse and I have been couplepreneurs for over 6 years. It took us a few years to make it work. Over the years I have met other couplepreneurs and learned we shared similar challenges when working with our spouses. I would not trade it for anything in the world but it wasn’t easy. Here are a few tips to keeping the sanity when working with your significant other:

  1. Write down your expected roles and responsibilities: This is your first step. You need to understand the expectations of each other and what roles you will play in the business. You will need to write down your job descriptions and responsibilities.
  2. Create business hours and home hours: I am not a believer in the work-life balance myth but I do think you need to set boundaries. Create “office hours” and family hours to make sure you give dedicated time to your business and your family.
  3. Create official business meeting times: You need to schedule a daily, weekly or twice a week meeting just like you would at a corporate job. You need to make sure you bring challenges and success stories to the meeting. Run it like a real business and not a hobby.
  4. Remember you are spouses first and business partners second: Love each other and remember that you are spouses first. The business is important but your relationship is more important. Put down the phone sometimes and spend time with your spouse.
  5. Schedule “No Business” vacations: Quarterly my husband and I have a staycation in our city. We are not allowed to talk about businesses during this time. It is important that you stay connected with each other.
  6. Remember that everyone makes mistakes: You and your spouse are not perfect. Remember to treat each other fairly and speak to each other with respect. Talk about the issue and find a solution together.
  7. Celebrate together: It is easy to work hard to build your dreams together. You have to take the time to celebrate your success along the way {both big and small}. It is no fun if you cannot enjoy the good times together.

Working together can be a great experience if you remember not to sweat the small stuff and have fun along the way.

UA-60998580-1