women | Divas In Defense® | Find Your Power

Your New You Resolution!

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

It is a New Year and time for CHANGE! Every year we make promises we don’t keep. Yeah, yeah, we go all out for most of January, some of February to fall off completely by March. Instead of making New Year’s resolutions, make New You resolutions! You owe it to yourself to purge unhealthy habits and relationships.

Yes, it would be good to lose a few pounds. Believe it or not, that is the easy part. Change your diet to a healthy one and “Watch the Weight Evaporate!” The bigger issue is shedding the extra pounds of dead weight you carry in your relationships, at work, in your home and much more.

Nothing takes the past away like the future.

What have you learned from your mistakes of yester-year? Put together a plan of action and set your course to “New You!” I can tell you, 2014 will be filled with ups and downs; what are you gaining in your losses? A new year gives you the opportunity to shake the dead weight and embark on another year of successes and failures. Remember: Falling forward is still progress!

Take some time and evaluate items in your life. Does your friendship bring more hardship? Is your mate dead weight? Does your workplace need a change of pace?

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” – Kenji Miyazawa

Holiday Safety Tips

Jingle bells, Christmas lights and Eggnog helps bring the holiday season to life. This is also the season for high crime rates and unsafe conditions, we want you to enjoy the holidays safely with your family and friends.

Here are a few tips to stay safe this holiday.

1. Make sure your car is prepared for the winter by checking your spark plugs, tires, brakes and batteries.

2. Keep a “safety survival kit” available in your car that includes a flashlight, jumper cables, ice scraper, first aid kit and non perishable, high energy food.

3. When shopping at night, park in a well lit area.

4. Do not leave visible packages in your car.

5. Try to schedule shopping trips with friends.

6. Avoid overloading yourself with packages when walking to your car.

7. ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings.

8. ALWAYS carry your self defense products. {Click here to purchase yours today}

9. Do not post your travel itinerary on social media sites.

10. Do not use the ATM at night.

Have a safe and fun Holiday Season!

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, also known as SAAM. The month of April is dedicated to providing events and opportunities to promote awareness of rape and sexual violence prevention. Sexual Assault Awareness Month was first observed in 2001 under the direction of the National Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCASA).

The theme for the 2013 National Sexual Assault Awareness Month is “It’s Time . . . To Talk About It.” This year’s focus is on healthy sexuality and it’s connection to child sexual abuse prevention. We are asking you to join the conversation and help us promote the awareness of sexual assault in your communities.

Want to get involved but do not know where to start? Here are a few event ideas to get you started:

1. Start the conversation.

Plan a dinner, coffee meeting or lunch with people in your organizations or network to discuss sexual assault prevention and resources in your area.

2. Promote a teal ribbon campaign.

Teal is the color associated with sexual assault. Distribute teal ribbons to your co-workers, family members and friends to promote sexual assault awareness.

3. Walk, March, Unite.

Register for local walks or runs in your area focused on sexual assault awareness this month.

4. Participate in Denim Day.

Join the movement of wearing jeans on Denim Day, April 24. Wearing jeans on denim day is an international social statement and fashion statement as a visible means of protest against negative attitudes towards sexual assault. Click here to learn more about Denim Day.

Need more ideas and resources? Visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center.

Divas in Defense Partners with The Call

We were excited to partner with Gofobo and Sony Pictures to promote the new movie, The Call, that opens in theaters today. The Call is a thriller starring Halle Berry and Abigail Breslin about a 911 operator (Berry) that receives a call from a girl (Breslin) that has just been abducted. We had the privilege to partner with local organizations at Oglethorpe University and Georgia State University to promote the movie and teach students self defense techniques. We discussed ways to avoid abduction and other violent crimes.

Students were then given safety flashlights and movie passes to attend a movie screening of The Call prior to opening day. This movie is why we are passionate about what we do here at Divas in Defense. Bringing awareness to these types of issues may save your life one day.

Interested in hosting a class at your school? Contact us today.

You Need A Man???

A teenage girl said to me, “I need a man.”

“Need a man?” I responded. “Well, what type of man do you need?”

Her reply was typical, “Tall, dark and handsome! Oh yeah, and no kids.”

I asked, “Are those your only qualifications?”

She said, “Of course not, he needs to have money.”

Flabbergasted, I questioned, “Is that all?”

Her reply was just as shocking. “No, he has to have his own money, a car and dress nice.”

Reaching my limit of tolerance to this superficial take on finding love, my response was simple:

“I can tell you what kind of man you need…

One that trusts in God despite hardship

One that will love you more than himself

One that educates you and not berates you

One that won’t use or abuse you

One that you can grow with, not apart from

One that can make you smile when you frown

One that needs you just the same

One that apologizes when he’s to blame

One that comforts you when you’re sad

One that does something romantic just because you are feeling bad

One that motivates you to be a better person

One that uplifts you when things worsen

One that compliments your shortcomings with achievement

One that your Father would call Son in agreement

One that would sacrifice his happiness for yours

One that provides til sweat bleeds from his pores

One that encourages you when you fail

One that each kiss feels like a fairy tale.”

Remember, the way one looks today can easily change tomorrow.

Trafficked women experience violence and poor health

Women who have been trafficked for sexual exploitation experience violence and poor physical and mental health but there is little evidence available about the health consequences experienced by trafficked children, men or people trafficked for other forms of exploitation according to a study by UK researchers.

So a team of researchers from London, UK, examined all relevant published studies in order to gather evidence and information on the frequency of all forms of violence relating to people who have been trafficked and the frequency of physical, mental, and sexual health problems.

The authors found studies consistently reported that women and girls who had been trafficked for sexual exploitation experienced high levels of physical and sexual violence. In addition, they experienced high levels of physical, sexual, and mental health problems: headache, back pain, stomach pain and memory problems were common as were anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Furthermore, the authors found that a longer duration of exploitation may be linked to higher levels of mental distress.

To read more on this article, please visit, http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2012-05/plos-twe052412.php

My Inspiration Comes From L.I.F.E.

This past Memorial Day weekend, groups of people came out to celebrate the joys of a three-day weekend, show reverence to our service men and women, spend time with family, enjoy good barbequed food, and attend a plethora of cultural festivals that Memorial Day brings. In NYC there was rain and sunshine, breeze and sweltering heat, but most importantly, there was laughter and love. Sure, one weekend does not eradicate the needs people have and the daily struggles that exist, but this weekend added perspective that I didn’t realize until I was on a trail along the Harlem River completing an ambitious walk-run combination from 145^th Street to the George Washington Bridge and back. My inspiration comes from L.I.F.E.: Love Inspires Fulfilling Efforts.

My cousin Fareedah, an avid runner, drove up from the Washington, DC area to hang out with my sisters and me. We went to a barbeque, attended the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Dance Africa, ate some good and interesting food, partied a bit on Sunday night, and finished the weekend off with that ambitious walk-run combination I mentioned earlier (my cousin didn’t walk at all—she ran the entire journey and even came back and motivated me to run the last quarter mile—pushing my body to its limit.). While I was running, I was thinking to myself how badly I wanted to quit. It was hot, my feet and legs were burning and I just wanted to be relaxing or watching people as I sat along the water’s edge. The last thing I wanted to do was to go running. I had given myself a pass not to have to work out by making excuses; and, I knew the run I was about to take would be brutal. For a little while, I almost allowed my mind to believe the ease of not running would be the best decision, but with resolve, I snapped out of that self-defeating attitude and sprang into one that encouraged me to keep going, thinking of how much I love myself and how much I love looking good in my clothes even more (I’m hardly vain though)! I thought about every bulge and roll on my body and how I could stand to lose some pounds and gain better quality time on this Earth. I also thought about how much effort our First Lady, Michelle Obama, had put into creating the Let’s Move campaign. That’s when I told myself to move it!

So, I invested in my inner health in the same way that I always invest in my outward appearance—by making the best, most advantageous, and feasible decision. As I ran along the trail, other runners and bikers were extremely supportive—they gave the thumbs up, made eye contact and erupted into smiles of approval while we were on our journey of health, and ultimately, a physical declaration of love. I had first begun this journey running on 145^th street, traversing up a steep hill with my cousin and my friend, Jenisha. While running, men cleared the sidewalks that had turned into their soap boxes and convention centers and we heard people say things like, “Keep up the good work girls,” or “Look at that…Black women running.” People loved seeing us exercise, they wanted to encourage us to do what they were not doing, and they shared LOVE completely. When the run was over, my body felt like wet noodles, but my spirit felt like water’s relief—I had been quenched.

Sitting in traffic on the FDR Drive in NYC gave me plenty of time to think so I called friends that had been on my mind, but that four-lettered ‘B’ word kept getting in the way. Two of them didn’t answer—perhaps busy had gotten the best of them also, but two of them answered. When they answered the phone, I sensed a similar emotion. Joy. They were happy to talk, but even happier to have been thought about. In that moment in time they mattered to someone else. I was now the cheerleader. Ironically, they both used the same statement, “I appreciate you.” My phone call (and of course a verbal reciprocation) had sent the same message. Those moments are what L.I.F.E. is really all about.

Love is a powerful weapon that can manifest in myriad ways; it inspires, encourages, motivates and transcends negative thoughts. Love is demonstrated in the way we treat and speak to one another and most importantly, how we treat ourselves. You may still be intending to fulfill your New Years’ Resolution. And, you still have time. Fulfill the best resolution by loving yourself and rejecting any elements that attempt to take you from your course. There will be plenty of cheerleaders on the sideline. It’s time to start living the good L.I.F.E.

For more information about Let’s Move go to www.letsmove.gov

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Congressional Violence toward Women: Stop it Now!

In 1994, Former President Bill Clinton signed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), implementing pivotal legislation for victims of rape, domestic violence, dating violence, and stalking. When President Clinton signed this act into law, he was working with a partisan legislature that was able to effectively serve the needs of the people in a bi-partisan way. Today, President Obama faces a similar political dilemma, but there is no bi-partisan camaraderie to quell this issue. Specifically, women’s issues have entered the sparring ring as the latest issue of debate used to assumedly prevent President Obama’s reelection. This is perhaps why most people are turned off by politics; but, it is all the more reason why people should be tuned in. In September of 2012, this act will expire (did you ever think an expiration date applied to the protection of any citizens?) and is up for renewal. Women’s issues have been a fundamental component in the debate to extend state’s rights, amend our healthcare system, and now, the women who need legal protection the most—vulnerable, esteem-destroyed, and fearful women—have to contend with the fact that this past week, the majority of the Republicans recently voted to weaken the Violence Against Women Act considerably. Activist groups like NOW (The National Organization for Women) have condemned the House version of the bill due its lack of specificity and its exclusion of the very people it is intended to protect.

Women are not the enemy of the Republican Party, but then again, I guess we are, but so are the elderly, the poor, the young, the gays, and anyone else that had a hand in getting President Obama elected in the first place. Partisan politics is hurting the people and our nation! We are at war with ourselves in a losing battle. And, women have been one of heaviest and most affected groups under attack as the nation inches one step closer to the November 6^th election. Congress needs to stop this reckless display of assault and the citizens have to hold them accountable. The Violence Against Women Act is just as important as having access to clean air and water. And, there is no negotiating it! We need to talk about it, but more importantly we need to talk to our legislators about it.

Every link included in this blog is important to your knowledge on how you can be a better, more informed voter and citizen. America is will only be as good as we make it. Stevie Wonder, receiving the Billboard Icon Award on Sunday May 20^th, 2012 said it best, “We are at a place [in society] where we have to commit ourselves to love.” Women, as much as we claim to love ourselves, we have to really take the time to show it so that others can reciprocate that love.

Click on the following link to find out who your Congressmen / women are: http://www.whitehouse.gov

Click on this link provided by another read-worthy blog, The Root, to find out how the Violence Against Women Act is being stripped as reported by professor and MSNBC political commentator, Melissa Harris-Perry: http://www.theroot.com/buzz/mhp-violence-against-women-act-stripped

Zakiyyah

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Follow me on twitter: DoItGurl

The Journey to Happy: Getting There Now!

This past Sunday we celebrated the lives of the women that have nurtured and cultivated the hearts and minds and spirits of a nation—Mothers! Happy Mother’s Day! In as much as Mother’s Day is a celebration of the role, it is also a celebration of the woman, mind, body and soul. Since the beginning of time, women have been trying to carve out a special niche in a world too consumed with trying to orchestrate our every move and our inner-most thoughts. Too often, it appears as if women are subjects learning how to do the simple, everyday, human things to meet demands that have been structured by men—and it feels weird.

Out of this awkwardly contrived existence come frustration, panic, and ultimately, the unhappiness of how to fit beautifully shaped creatures into jagged and uncomfortable spaces that compliment none of us. When we reach a certain age, most of us are bombarded with getting married and having children. The bludgeoning gong of our biological clocks keeps us in an unnatural perspiring pace to fit into a world that many of us are okay with never championing, but society wouldn’t dare allow us to traverse the path of being unmarried, childless, career women without the chagrin of being told of the regrets this decision would bring as we become seasoned women—and so we jump into the race for the ring [wedding], the babies, and the life that keeps most of us away from the journey to happy into the journey of obligation.

In time for Mother’s Day, Jada Pinkett-Smith, joined by her mother Adrienne and her daughter Willow, released the ‘Red Table Talks’ in which they discussed love, life and regrets. One of the most poignant moments in the series premier is when Pinkett-Smith is asked by her daughter about the challenges of being a wife and mother. In Jada’s lofty but reflective response, the takeaways were:

* The more balance we have, the happier we are.
* We are responsible for our own happiness.
* Women have to create new message-ing. We have a right to be happy.
* Meditation helps women to get focused.
* Women have to learn to take care of ourselves first and foremost.
* Communication creates partnership.

As women, we have so much responsibility but our first responsibility must be to ourselves. There is an African proverb that says, “We begin by being foolish and we become wise by experience.” ~Maasai Proverb (@africanproverbs). The hope is that the longer we’re on this journey of life, the wiser and the happier we become.

To view the entire ‘Red Table Talks’ video, click on the link below:

http://www.5min.com/Video/Red-Table-Talks-Jada-Pinkett-Smith-Willow-Smith-Talk-Love-Family-517362771

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Ex-detective accused of rape to blame antidepressant for attack

According to the Los Angeles Times, a former Westminster, CA, police detective accused of kidnapping a woman from Ontario Mills mall in 2010 and raping her at gunpoint will try to convince a jury Monday that he was under the influence of an antidepressant and therefore not responsible for his actions. Anthony Nicholas Orban faces kidnapping and rape charges in the attack on a 25-year-old-waitress who was abducted while leaving work. Prosecutors and investigators believe, Orban kidnapped the woman in the parking lot and then forced her to drive to a commercial location in Fontana, CA, where he raped her. Thankfully, the woman managed to escape during the attack and alert authorities.

To continue reading, please visit:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/