Uncategorized | Divas In Defense®

#YesAllDaughters

As most of the nation waited anxiously for the Ferguson indictment decision on Monday, three female students and many of their classmates walked out of their Oklahoma high school yesterday afternoon. We are not just talking about their friends but hundreds of students walked out with signs and chanted “ No Justice, no class” and “ No more bullying.”

The students were protesting the school’s response to allegations of bullying of the three female students and their unfortunate rape by the same person. As in any sexual assault cases we see it is extremely hard for the victim to speak up. So to have not only one but three girls who are just in high school speak up and stand their ground is amazing.

As the hashtag #YesAll Daughters gained attention, Norman Police Department Captain Tom Easley has said the school was enlarging a task force to study the implementation of a “targeted, research-based sexual assault curriculum for students,” and that the school will continue to respond quickly to reports of sexual assault and bullying.

Of course this made me stop scrolling on my phone and read the entire article because I am someone’s daughter but this can also affect someone son. The thought of the school was not taking the allegations serious enough and the amount of online bullying that was allowed to go on for so long was outrageous. Many do not realize social media bullying is becoming present in the lives of our teenagers every day. If they are not the ones doing the cyber bullying they are the ones being bullied. It takes one tweet to change a person entire life.

While on winter break sign your Young Diva for Divas In Defense “On Her Own” Workshop December 20th, 2014:

Bump- and- Rob: The Car Scam is Back

You have just clocked out of work, might have stopped by the ATM and now you are heading back home. All of a sudden you feel a bump on the back of your bumper. Now, it wasn’t too hard of a hit to injury you but it was hard enough to make you want to step out of you car to take a look. As you step out you are confronted with a robber. You start to have sorts of thoughts going through your head – are they robbing you for your money, your keys and car or even worst YOU!

You Just Don’t Know. This Blog will introduce you this Scam Alert that not only is going on now but will become more prevalent as the holidays approaches.

What is “ Bump-and-Rob”?
Alleged robbers would drive up behind a vehicle, bump the rear of the car just enough to make the driver stop and get out to check the damage

How to avoid being “Bumped and Robbed”
• Drivers must pay attention to their surroundings. Robbers sometimes target people leaving banks or even leaving shopping mall.
• A stranded motorist is a prime target for a criminal. Stay IN your car as you call for help on your cell phone. If you hang a white rag on the side-view mirror (a distress signal), beware of predators – like hyenas spotting a lame antelope.
• Law enforcement recommends that if you do get bumped on the road, signal the driver to follow you to a public place and jot down their license plate if you can on the way there.
• Early-morning drivers not to get out of their vehicles if bumped from behind.
• If someone bumps your car at night, it’s probably best to stay in your car and call the cops instead of getting out to deal with it yourself.

Keep in mind at all times
• Predators know that they can get your keys, car, and cash (and maybe want you too) whenever you’re in or near your car. While going to or from your car, make it a habit to hold pepper spray at the ready. Also have a personal security alarm (noisemaker or screamer) – or keep your thumb on your car key’s Emergency Button to blow the car’s horn.
• If you are bumped by another car, look around before you get out. Make sure there are other cars around, and then check out the car that’s rear-ended you and who’s in it. If the situation makes you uneasy, stay in the car and insist on moving to a police station or busy, well-lighted area to exchange information

Street Harassment the Uncomfortable Walk

Before reading those stories, and posting, I accepted it as the norm to get harassed all the time.” (Hollaback participant, 2012) –

Now we all can admit that hearing “That I Notice You” whistle or look might actually brighten up your day, but what can you do if it progresses into an uncomfortable situation: whistle blowing, hisses and the stares. Many do not understand what is the ‘Big Deal”. Non-contact unwanted sexual experiences were the most common form of sexual violence experienced by both women and men.

Event though the assailant is not being physical public harassment is still pretty close to your Personal Safety Zone. The assailant might not even notice they are speaking the language of Sexual Terrorism. It could all be apart of their Social Anxiety Defense Mechanism stemming from low self-esteem.

Street Harassment on College Campuses
Recently the company behind the Hollaback! App collected 282 undergraduate, graduate and part-time college students and 44 college administrators on campuses from the urban, suburban and rural U.S. to find out how harassment exists in spaces of higher education.
• Students are being harassed on their college campuses (67% of students experienced harassment),
• Harassment is limiting student’s ability to benefit from education,
• Current campus systems and processes are insufficient.
• Over 99 percent of women report facing some form of street harassment.
• 95 percent of women report being the target of leering or excessive staring at least once.
• More than 37 percent of women have had a stranger masturbate at or in front of them at least once in public.
• Nearly 57 percent of women reported being touched or grabbed in a sexual way by a stranger in public.
• Over 77 percent of women said they were the targets of kissing noises from men.
• About 62 percent of women say a man has purposely blocked their path at least once.
• About 27 percent of women report being assaulted at least once in public by a stranger.

“But I found myself forcing myself to bring it up and to tell people about it and to, even like, people I wouldn’t normally tell this to, like my Dad… Hollaback cultured my feeling that this should be shared.”
The only way we can become a fighting voice for all of those who cannot.

Sources: http://www.ihollaback.org/
SOURCES: Stop Street Harassment, Feministe/Patrick McNeil, Center for American Progress

Give A Potential Attacker the Finger!

“It’s like a blue light in the palm of your hand.”

With attacks on unsuspecting victims popping up left and right, it’s always boggled my mind that there hasn’t been a way to immediately and discreetly contact the police vs. calling 911 outright. The latter is a dead give away to any potential aggressor that you’ve called for help. With all the modern technology out there, I thought, why can’t people somehow TEXT 911?

While mobile phones have helped a lot of people escape dangerous situations that are detrimental to personal safety and well-being; smartphones have tried to take it to the next level. I’m not armed with data or analytical insight here but in general, smartphones have not been a radical addition to this security issue. There are apps which help you alert the cops and your friends when you are in danger. SafeTrek is one such app, a very ingenious one at that. SafeTrek promises to significantly enhance student safety by augmenting the infrequently-used “blue light” emergency phone systems on many college campuses.

SafeTrek is a security app for the iPhone and Android. It’s a very simple app which – when used and triggered – will alert the cops silently with a danger-alert tagged with your current location. When you feel unsafe, all you have to do is tap and release a button on the app. The Safe Trek system includes an app where students worried about their safety can hold down a large virtual button that causes the phone to vibrate and the screen to animate. If the user doesn’t input a private PIN within ten seconds, the local police dispatcher receives a web alert that tracks the student’s path on a map. The dispatcher and student can exchange text messages or speak directly until the situation is resolved

Many lives have been saved because of SafeTrek. Whether a user is walking down an alley late at night or hears a strange noise in his/her own home, SafeTrek offers a guarantee of security when the user might not be able to call the police on their own.

Designed to beat the time it takes to dial 911 and send your SOS message, SafeTrek started as a small project but has found some widespread success. The app works very simply:

If you feel unsafe – say, when you are out in the night or going through deserted streets with suspicious folks strolling around – open the app and press-and-hold on the Safe button.
• After you are out of the unsafe zone and are sure that you are safe, remove your finger from the button and enter a PIN to cancel the alarm system which will send a message to the authorities.
• In case you are in an emergency, all you do is remove the finger from the Safe button. In ten seconds, if you don’t do anything, the SOS will be sent and your location will be tracked/monitored constantly.
• You can cancel the alert in ten seconds.

When Real Estate Becomes Too Real!

”We do try to meet with our clients at our office first, but there are some occasions where meeting a potential client at a home is easier or more convenient.”

It’s a sad reality, but real estate agents – especially women – need to be vigilant about their exposure to predators when out showing properties. For that matter, so do their customers. It is fortunately a very rare occurrence, but every year agents become targets of violent criminals. In light of the recent kidnapping and murder of Arkansas real estate agent Beverly Carter, her attacker said, she was targeted because “she was a woman who worked alone” – The Associated Press reported. The motive for the attack remains under investigation though Pulaski County Sheriff’s Office Capt. Simon Haynes said that Lewis “was a stranger to her” who investigators believe saw her as “a target of opportunity.”

We wanted to review some of the safety precautions to take when showing homes to strangers:

Before You Go Out
• Keep a charge on your cell phone.
• Do not use “glam shots” in your ads – I know we are all Fierce & Fabulous but keep it professional.
• Never advertise a listing as “vacant” or “current unoccupied” – most attackers are “right time attackers”
• Do a reverse phone search

Avoid Being A Target in the Field
• Choose your showing time wisely
• Do the driving…. Do not get in the prospect’s car
• Know where the exits are
• TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!
• Take a copy of their ID with your cell phone
• Park with leaving in mind.
• Consider carrying mace, pepper spray

Open Houses
Conducting open houses can be tricky: You don’t have the same security options that you do when you are meeting people at the office.

* Go meet the neighbors. Tell them you’re showing the house. It’s a good way to get referrals. It’s an even better way to know you have a safe place to run to if you need it.
* Don’t work open houses alone. You can’t control how many people walk in on you.
* Have an alternate destination.- never go straight home after an open house, you can never be sure if someone is following you.

Apps That You Can Download
ICE Black Box this is different from the ICE app that has been around for awhile. With this app, you can video record events such as dangerous situations, suspicious activity, crime as it’s happening or if you feel you are in danger. The video is then stored on another server so that no can force you to erase the video and even if the phone is damaged, the video has already been stored on

On Call Defender has one solution – a monitored mobile phone application. Tap three times and the police are on their way – all for $6.99 per month for the monitoring service. MyForce is another option.

Beverly Carter, and others were all victims of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Attackers are like predators in the wild, they will go for the prey that are isolated. They are cowards and looking to prey on what they presume to be the weak.

For more information and resources:
www.divasindefense.com
ABC News http://abcn.ws/1rGGFT8

Fire(harmless) Training

I recently went to the shooting range for the first time. While I’ve always been somewhat hesitant about firearms I must say it was an amazing experience. The feeling of pulling the trigger and hearing that subsequent “pop” is exhilerating. With the proper firearm training, a woman can protect herself in an instant. The news is always relaying a story about domestic violence against women. The statistics are astounding, and only seem to get worse and worse by the year. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.” That’s a 25 percent chance that you or someone you know will fall victim to the anger of a trusted person. Knowing this it’s important to not only learn basic self-defense techniques, but also educate yourself on the use of a gun. Remember that we offer firearms training at Divas In Defense with our Fire(Harmless) Gun Training course. Be sure to contact us and sign up today!

Love Is Blind, Thanks Eve

In 1999, Eve became only the third female rapper in history to have an album go platinum. Let There be Eve . . . Ruff Ryder’s First Lady, Eve’s debut album’s platinum feat was most impressive due to the fact it rode to success on the single “Love is Blind”. The third single off the album is held today in high regards as a classic. The rap ballad –if you will—is an ode to a dear friend of Eve’s that died from domestic violence.

“Hey, yo I don’t even know you and I hate you See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you How would you feel if she held you down and raped you? Tried and tried, but she never could escape you”

In a male dominated music industry, Eve’s opus still resonated with Hip Hop fans male and female. The 1999 hit also featured vocals by Faith Evans, the widow of slain rapper Biggie Smalls. Eve’s song spoke out for a community of women, mostly young African American woman, which were affected by domestic abuse of some sort. In 2005, Black women accounted for just 8% of the population, but accounted for 22% of the intimate partner homicide victims and 29% of all female victims of intimate partner homicide reported blackdoctor.org. Rochelle Sample, 24, a Hampton University graduate believes “Love is Blind” was so powerful, because it finally shed light on what the journalistic media refused to. “Many times we see women of other ethnicities on television and how they are missing and the country rallies to search for them or how they are beaten or worse killed by their husbands or lovers and the country rallies for them. It’s not often that you see this same kind of treatment for Black woman and Eve’s song finally gave young women of color a voice against [domestic] violence,” says Sample.

Just two months ago, via youtube.com a young lady posted a comment on Eve’s video for “Love is Blind,” Lisandra Flores writes (in all caps) “LOVE IS BLIND . . . THANK YOU GOD FOR OPENING MY EYES,” more than a decade later and young women of color are still gravitating towards this song.

Domestic Violence by The #’s

—Honor Killing: In the Middle East and South Asia 20,0000 women lose their lives to honor killings. An Honor Killing is the belief of justifiable murder, because a family member has brought dishonor to the family name and image.

Pulled from the Domestic Violence Pintrest board, these various infographics show domestic violence in teen relations, domestic violence against women, and some startling facts regarding international mind-sets. The first infographic, A Dangerous Gap shows 34% of parents report verbal abuse relationships, while a whooping 62% of tweens report verbal abuse. Early this month, National Teen Dating Violence Month, Divas in Defense shared some blog post that could help parents identify the signs of abuse in teen relationships.

What do India, Ethiopia, Iraq, and Jordan all have in common? The majority of their female population believes it is okay for their husbands to physically assault them. This study was conducted with the help of Unicef. A glimpse at the infographic will show the majority of these countries or Middle Eastern countries and third world economies. No doubt religion, sparse economic activity, and overall patriarchal institutions all play a role to some varying degree.

Found on loveinfographics.com

Found on visualrights.tacticaltech.org

Found on blog.mapsofworld.com

Teen Girls, 5 Tips of Protection

Last Monday, Divas In Defense provided information to parents and the alike on the warning signs an adolescent woman may be in a dangerous relationship. Now that the warning signs have been unveiled, we’d like to provide you with tips on how girls can protect themselves. Because roughly 1.5 million U.S. high school students report being harmed in the last year, education on prevention and protection are important. Dosomething.org reports a study from the Center for Disease Control (CDC) stating “Teens who suffer dating abuse are subject to long-term consequences like alcoholism, eating disorders, promiscuity, thoughts of suicide, and violent behavior.” With 8 states having no legislation on the books regarding violent dating relationships as domestic abuse, it is important that teens are told how to protect themselves. With teens are unable to legally file domestic abuse charges against violent partners, consequently, they are unable to get restraining orders. Below are five great tips on how teen girls can protect themselves.

1. If someone invades your space, forget about being a “nice girl”.

2. Stay sober in social situations.

3. Forgo any type of relationship with men who speak negatively.

4. Have alternate transportation incase the date is not going appropriately

5. Trust your gut.

GET HELP

If you or someone you know is a victim or emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse, seek help. If you are the abused party, the witness of the abuse, or the abuser please speak with an adult in your life or call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 (1-866-331-8453 for the hearing impaired) or online at www.loveisrespect.org. Help is immediate, local, accessible 24/7, and confidential.

Kick-Ass Women in Film

Every Friday, there is a new release; so, we flock to the movie theater in droves to spend on average, in some cities, $9.50 a ticket. For those who are not so financially blessed, Netflix, On Demand, or HBO help us become stay-at-home movie goers. In honor of Friday, the unofficial movie night, Divas In Defense would like to honor a couple movies with the best kick-ass women.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?
Starring Angela Basset as the heroine Tina Turner. This real life classic is visual empowerment.

Enough
Starring Jennifer Lopez as a women conned into an abusive relationship teaches up survival and the friendship that is needed to escape abuse.

Categorized as: Uncategorized